July = Time For Change

I have been inspired by a fellow blogger. That happens frequently, but this time I am going to act upon my inspiration. You all know Nilsa, right? She blogs over at SoMi Speaks and she is totally smart and funny and interesting. Anyway, every month she challenges herself to make a change to improve her life. After several months of reading about her challenges, I decided July 09 was my month to jump on the bandwagon.

See, I am a master at avoiding problems. I can close my eyes (figuratively) to any issue no matter how big or small. The problem is that when you do this enough, small issues become big ones. So I have promised myself that for every day I am going to tackle one problem or issue that I have been avoiding. This may sound simple, but when you avoid the way I do, fixing things is not always easy. However, by the end of the month I should have a better grip on my life and much short To Do List.

So day one, July 1st - Auto Insurance. Yeah. I started out with a doozy. I should have just organized a junk draw and eased myself into this project. But I took the bull by the horns and tackled a huge, multi-day, expensive project.

See, I have a truck that is unregistered and uninsured and currently sitting in my driveway. About a year ago the brakes went on the truck and at the time I didn't have the money to fix it so I took it out of service. I still have a car to drive daily and I didn't really need the truck. I was supposed to quickly decide if I was going to fix it or get rid of it. And now a year plus later, I have decided to fix the truck. So I need to re-register and re-insure the vehicle.

Do you know that insurance companies are pretty skeptical when you have let your insurance on vehicle expire and try to re-insure it? Like so skeptical that they try to deny you coverage although you have a PERFECT driving record. And do you know that once you contact the insurance company to address the issue and fix things, they contact the DMV and get your driver's license suspended because you have had a vehicle without insurance for a year? And the fact that vehicle has never been moved and is on private property is doesn't seem to matter to anyone. And it costs $200 to get you license off the suspended list.

So the mission for Day 2 is going to be a trip to local DMV to get my license off the suspended list, renew my license, which expired on June 30th and attempt to register the truck.

I will probably cry at some point. Pray for me.

A Day On The Beach

On Friday evening my grandma called me with "news". My cousin's boyfriend was going propose on Saturday on the beach and he wanted to gather family and friends as a surprise to witness the proposal and share in a celebratory meal afterwards. Uh. No way! Short of a baby shower, I could not think of worse way to spend a Saturday.

First of all, shouldn't the proposal be something PRIVATE and/or special for the couple. I mean, what if she wanted to say no. She certainly could not turn down the gentleman on one knee in front of 50 of her closest friends and family. I do love my cousin, but I honestly don't feel the need to witness this event.

Secondly, did anyone take into consideration that forcing me to witness this event was a form of cruel and unusual punishment? Once a single woman reaches a certain age, she is automatically bitter with regard to engagements. Sure, we feign excitement but in all honesty, we'd like to bitch-slap the future brides. Again, I love my cousin and I am happy that she is happy, but I don't need it rubbed in my face.

Further, the future-husband is MUTE. Well, actually selectively-mute, but the end result is that he very, very rarely speaks. Apparently, he had traumatic past and it is difficult for him to verbalize now. (To be honest, I sort of rolled my eyes and tuned out when the details were explained to me a few years ago. So I am not really sure what his deal is.) I think the crowd would intimidate him and make the actual proposing a more difficult.

Plus, traffic. Have you ever tried to navigate Jersey Shore weekend traffic? There is no way I want to sit on the Parkway for hours to be present for this 2 second event.

The end result was that I missed the proposal. But I got a text at some point in the afternoon that she had accepted and was very happy. On Sunday I was blessed with stories of how The Mute's family was cold and unwelcoming and how the lightning storm ruined the surprise portion of the proposal. And how grandma thinks it is tactless to ask for cash to be donated for IVF procedures in lieu of engagement/wedding gifts. I just stifled my laughs and listened.

So - question of the day - do you think you could marry a mute?

Monday, Again.

My weekend was ok. I certainly have had better times, but at least I got a lot of rest.

I went to a really bad birthday party, but tried to make the best of it. In the end it turned out to tolerable. Sort of.

I watched the world mourn the death of Michael Jackson and scratched my head at insanity.

I skipped a second party because I wasn't feeling particularly festive. Instead I watched Burn Notice and Law & Order reruns and shared a few glasses of wine with friend.

I hung my head in shame as the Yankees swept the Mets.

I tried to figure out what I am going to do for the holiday weekend, but I still have no idea.

How was your weekend?

Opening A Can and Closing A Door

Dear Facebook,

Thanks for suggesting - over and over again - that I be friends with Andy. But how do you even know that I know Andy. We have no common FB friends. We never went to school together or worked in the same place. He grew up in Buffalo, NY and I grew up in NJ. He currently lives in Miami and I hate the humidity of South Florida. So how do you know that we are acquainted? How do you know that Andy's brother broke my heart in to a million pieces? You are really freaking me out with this one.

Suspiciously yours,
Karen
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Dear Andy,

Wow. It has been LONG time, huh? In some ways I feel like I am more estranged from you than the friends that I haven't seen since grammar school. Thanks for asking me to be your FB friend because even though FB suggested it to me everyday this week, I would never have brought myself to ask for your friendship.

So, it is good to see that you are doing well. Your baby is beyond adorable. But enough with the small talk. The very first thing I did when I accepted your friendship was scan through all of your pictures looking for any sign of your brother. You didn't let me down, having a full album devoted to Bachelor Party and another to his Wedding.

I took my time scanning each and every photo, easily identifying many of the family and wedding guests. But to be honest, the whole thing made me feel dirty - like I was doing something wrong. Those people are no longer part of my life. So, I had my look and I promised myself I will never go back to your photo section.

And all was good. Until this morning when FB suggested that I be friends with your bother. Ugh!

Not Sure I Should Have Opened That Can Of Worms,
Karen
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Dear Husband and Wife,

I miss our friendship. I don't know if I am ever going to get over it or if it is ever going to stop sucking. But I do know that as of this very moment, I am going to stop trying and stop pretending that we have any friendship left.

I am happy and I have other friends. That isn't the point. The point is that you were important to me. And I am clearly no longer important to you.

Regretfully Yours,
Karen

My Take On Headlines

So the Governor of South Carolina had an affair. Big freaking deal. People cheat. Duh. I'd be willing to be that men with money/power cheat more than the average person. Who really cares? Why is this national news? He was actually separated from his wife when he was Argentina. His wife kicked him out a few weeks prior and she has known about the affair for 5 months.

Ok, I get that that it is a problem if this staff couldn't reach him and there was an emergency. Yes, that part should be news - in South Carolina. I just don't get the whole national scandal. It was not as if he was caught with a hooker (ala NY and NV governors) or another man (ala NJ). I really don't get the media insanity on this one.
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Switching gears, I had a friendly visit with my doctor this week. My body is continuing to refuse all oral efforts to absorb nutrients from food. It seems that at least for the foreseeable future, regular infusions are going to be part of my life. Which really isn't the biggest deal. It is a bit of a hassle to go to the hospital, but in the grand scheme of things I am not really sick. See, these infusions are given in out-patient chemo unit. There is nothing that puts my problems in better perspective than sitting among cancer patients who are actually sick.
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Speaking of hospitals and such, did anyone see the Obama health care Q& A last night. I didn't. I opted for watching the season premier of Real World Cancun instead. (Hey! Don't judge me!!) The only clip I caught on the morning news involved Obama addressing a woman whose mother was denied a pacemaker by her insurance company because she was 100 years old. Eventually the mother did receive the pacemaker and continued to live to 105. Obama's response was "end of life issues are difficult." Yeah, really? Way to go out on limb with that answer.

This morning I read that Obama's health care reform plan does not address tort reform at all. I am not sure if that is true, but that surprises me. I am an attorney and I believe in a free-market economy. I also am a huge believer in personal economic responsibility. However, without some tort reform, I am not sure how the medical industry can survive health care reform. I also don't know where our nation is going to come up with the money for any reform, but that is whole different argument for another day.

If you saw the presentation, what did you think? Or if you have more info than me (which you probably do!) let me know what was said.

Just one more day until Friday. I hope I make it...

The Blahs

It has been a crappy few days for Karen.

• I had 3 experiences that left me regretting that had done something instead of regretting that I hadn't. Nothing major really, but still 3 disappointments/fleeting moment of embarrassment.

• I had to do some cell phone cleansing. I am not one to EVER delete someone from my phone. If you make it into my phone, we are like the Mafia or a Crypts - we never let you out. Consequently, I have numbers of people I haven't spoken to in 5 years and number of people I don't even know anymore. This is generally not a problem, but when I am trying to be strong and not call someone, having the number is sometimes a little too tempting. So I deleted a number yesterday. It was surprisingly emotional and not in a good way. But about 20 minutes after I deleted, I realized I still have the number in my saved text messages. Now I am trying to decide whether to delete that or not.

• I played with my poker league last night for the first time in FOREVER. I used to play every Wednesday and sporadically on Tuesday and Saturday afternoons. I honestly loved the poker league. I met some great people and I had a lot of laughs. A few months ago they cancelled the Tuesday night and Wednesday night games where I had been playing. I tried out a few other places, but nothing felt right. Either I didn't care for the people at that new places or it was not convenient to get to or there were just too many players - whatever, I cannot seem to find a new place that I enjoy. Last night I just never got into the groove of the game and I got knocked out early. I hung out for a bit chatting with friends who I hadn't seen in while, but ended up heading home really early. I don't think I am going to try any more new places. I just have to realize that the poker league that I knew is over and stop trying to fit in elsewhere.
• Finally, last night, because I was feeling so grouchy and blah, I decided to watch the Mad Men DVD that I got from Netflix. I love Mad Men and that would surely cheer me up - except the DVD was cracked in half. So Mad Men was a no-go and I turned to the other Netflix DVD, The Wrestler. I have to admit that I didn't finish the movie, but the first half was such as downer. Clearly not the right movie to watch when you are feeling grumpy and sorry for yourself!

Anyway, today I do feel much better. I am ready to fly through Friday and have a great weekend. We are even supposed to see the sun here in NJ. Though, I will believe that when I see it!!

Team Caroline

So after yesterday's controversial post where I managed to insult my friends, I thought I would talk about something light, airy and freaking awesome. The Real Housewives of New Jersey!




Oh. My. God. Tonight's season finale was the best hour on television in years and years. It was just dramatic and so real. I know women like these ladies. I can relate to these characters perfectly. I actually went to high school with Teresa (though she was few years older than me) and the Manzo family has been involved with a lot of the foundation work my family does with the hospital.

I don't want to say too much because I don't want to be a spoiler, but once you watch it, come back and talk to me about it!!

Tell Me in 140 Characters or Less

Here I go about to piss people off (again).... ***Quick edit for the zillion typos. Sorry.****

There are some social issues that are open to debate. Gay Marriage. Death Penalty. War. Abortion. There are religious and moral issues which causes debate and question on these type of issues.

And some that (putting the economic issues aside) are pretty much agreed upon across the board. Drunk Driving is wrong. Homelessness is bad. Health Care should be more readily available.


Before yesterday I would have included the sexually discussions regarding children in the latter group. I honestly thought that was an issue that no one would defend. But apparently, not everyone agrees that it is such a bad thing.


See, yesterday afternoon I had a bit of a Twitter debate with 5 of my fellow Twits. The whole thing actually left me scratching my head and questioning my sanity. I know that many of my online friends have different political views than I do and I have NO PROBLEM with that. I don't mind having intelligent discussion on any issue. But to be honest, I am sort of amazed by the strong opinion people held on something I thought was so black and white. The things people were saying to me were so out of line with my definition of right and wrong, that I was really taken aback.

Please note that I am not attributing words to any person or even mentioning who was involved in the conversation, because it is not my place to put words in anyone's mouth. I am just re-capping MY thoughts and how I FELT about the conversation - mostly because I found the whole experience was so bizarre. I respect each of your positions, but I just cannot say that I understand them. I honestly couldn't (and still can't) believe that smart, thoughtful, insightful adults had opinions which were so foreign from mine.

The conversation was on the topic of Dave Letterman's joke gone awry. My thought on that topic is that it is wrong to sexualize a 14 year old child - even if that wasn't your intent. Period. There is no excuse. No debate. It is just as bad as drunk driving to say something sexual about child.

Now I realize that the intent of joke was to make fun of the 17 year old teen mother. That would have a been distasteful, but funny in my opinion. But when Dave realized that the butt of the joke was the 14 year old and not the 17 year old, he should have apologized immediately and put the whole thing to sleep. That was the entire point that I was attempting to make. Dave did something wrong and Dave should apologize. (Of course, unless you live under a rock, you do know that Dave did apologize last night.)

However, out of the 5 twitters involved in the conversation, not one - including 2 mothers of tween girls - would agree (or concede) that it was wrong to make a sexual joke about a child. Seriously? What sort of society do we live in where this is ok? Where this type of behavior is defended?

People told me that making sexual comments about a 14 year old was ok because:

• her sister was unwed teen mother.


• the Palin family believed in abstinence.


• Gov. Palin's reaction justified the original remark.

Hmmm.....Somehow I don't think any of those justifies the joke. Again, once Dave knew he made the joke a kid, he had to apologize.

When I asked if the comment would be justifiable if make about one of the Obama girls, I was told by 2 separate people that I was comparing apples to oranges. How is that? I was comparing sexualizing one child to sexualizing another child. Seems pretty much like apples and apples to me.

When I said that Don Imus had suffered repercussions for his Nappy-headed Ho comment and made a comparison to Dave, I was told that "even [I] couldn't possibly be going there." Huh? Why? Because insulting a team of adults is somehow so much worse than insulting a child? I honestly don't get it.

Lastly, I was told that there was nothing wrong with what Dave said and it was the "dirty minds of others" that should be blamed. I seriously thought I was in the Twilight Zone!

The only justification I can come up with is that because Sarah Palin is a hated, people believe it is acceptable to say whatever they want about her children. And I find that horrible.

I don't watch those late night talk shows. If I am awake and watching tv at that time at night, I opt for sitcom reruns. I don't know if it is common to make fun of kids, but I thought it was generally frowned upon. I remember before the Olsen twins turned 18, they were off limits as far as sexual innuendo was concerned.

I wasn't defending Palin's reaction, though I did ask what people would do if the comments were made about their children. I don't know what I would do, but I doubt if I would just let it go. I didn't talk about the calls for boycotts or about the advertisers who pulled out of Dave's show, because quite frankly I think that is an over reaction. I don't think Dave or the writers should be punished. They should just own their mistake.

I am not saying I am right. I was clearly in the minority in the discussion last night. Maybe my views are screwed up. But I am proud that I am the type of person who would be outraged by what happened. I stand by my belief that making sexual comments about child - even inadvertently - should not be tolerated. And I will continue to scratch my head and furrow my brow at anyone who can defend such behavior.

So, more importantly than your opinion on Dave Letterman, tell me if you have been totally blown away by other people's opinions. Have you ever thought something was so black and white only to have other people paint you all sort of shades of grey?